Welcome to Not a Ninja reviews!
Never believe someone who calls themself a ninja. No true ninja would claim that. I don't consider myself a ninja and I cringe when people call me that. However, I have invested a half decade into learning many of the skills of a ninja. During that time I've accumulated gear, some of which suits my purposes well. I'll share the best gear I've found in case U, too, are not a ninja.
In my quest to find my perfect pair of ninja pants I tried out Takeflight's World's Best Parkour Pants. I've had them since April 2016 and put them through a lot of abuse.
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In order to clarify the platonic ideal against which I will compare the pants I review, I'll define how I imagine the perfect pair of pants would work for me.
- Agile: ninja pants allows exceptional range of motion. They don't impede movements like pancakes, splits, rolls, high kicks, high jumps.
- Cost-effective or durable: ninja pants either don't cost a fortune, making them easy to replace or survive intensive activities like parkour, rock climbing, and martial arts practice over and over.
- Secure: ninja pants retain pocket contents during inversions such as skin the cat or handstands. They can accomplish this using pocket zippers.
- Stealthy: ninja pants look like normal pants. They blend in at an office, in a restaurant, and on the street. They seem inconspicuous but flattering. They stay quiet during movement. They shed fur, hair, and other evidence.
- Weatherproof: These pants provide protection from the elements.
Takeflight's World's Best Parkour Pants
Let's see how these pants have held up.
These pants feature excellent range of motion, mostly as a function of their baggy fit, rather than any particular innovation in material. Built from 100% polyester these pants definitely run large, in accordance with the parkour aesthetic.
A note about fit: I weigh in at around 145 lb at 5'9" and I bought a small. The pants definitely feel and look baggy. They have a bit of extra length to them too, however they do have ankle loops which keep the ends under control.
I find this pair of pants enjoyable to wear as they feel loose, flowing, and completely un-restricting.
Cost-effectiveness or Durability
The World's Best Parkour Pants stand out in this category. My pair has taken a ton of beatings because I often wear them when bouldering and practicing parkour.
After two years of continuous wear I've noticed minimal damage. A few spots show signs of abrasion. I feel impressed now that I've taken the time to thoroughly examine the exterior. I took these pants for granted.
Other pants that I own that I put through the same stresses have emerged with a lot of pilling or straight up tears. These pants take a lot of abuse.
I remember the Takeflight logo wore off entirely after several months. I actually like that, because I prefer for my clothing to have minimal to no branding.
This pair of pants also doesn't cost a lot, considering the durability, at only 60 USD. I have to give these pants a props here.
These pants retain pocket contents because of the built in zipper pockets.
I will note that because of the baggy cut of the pants, pocket contents don't stay close to legs while running. This can cause a bit of a bouncy feeling when running, which I personally find hinders my running. The waistband also feels a bit weak so bouncy pocket contents can slowly pull the pants down.
These pants suck at blending in. Sad to say. They don't blend in anywhere except maybe a parkour class.
Once I even got into a conversation with the executive director of Parkour Visions on a subway when she noticed these pants. So these pants could benefit U if U like to display your interests publicly (though this only happened once, and quite randomly).
They look baggy and a bit shiny (because of the 100% polyester fabric) and decidedly outside of mainstream fashion. I don't find these pants helpful for keeping a low profile.
I do wear them to my office, but I work at a progressive workplace that understand my appearance has little bearing on my work. I have also worn them on dates, but I date progressive women that treasure me despite my occasionally disheveled appearance. Ideally I wouldn't have to compromise my average human disguise under any circumstance.
These pants do better in the other measures of stealth.
For one thing, cat hair doesn't stick to them. I live with a cat, so I consider this an important property. Other pairs of pants I've tried will magnetically attract fur. This one doesn't, and the fur that does incidentally fall onto it slips off easily.
When it comes to silent movement these pants murmur sweet nothings to me, seducing me with barely audible whispers. Seriously, one of the quietest pairs of pants I've ever owned.
Water generally pours off of the fabric rather than soaking through. As a result they stay acceptably dry during light rains.
During the summer I find these pants generally comfortable, though on the heavy side. Fortunately the ankle loops make it easy to hike these pants up to, say, the knees for more breeze. All the extra space due to the bagginess allows for plenty of air circulation, so even if they feel a bit warm they don't start to feel swampy.
During the winter I wouldn't wear these alone. Often I'll wear these over long johns or a lighter pair of pants, which works well.
I recommend these pants for physical activity, where they shine. I don't love them for every day activities, especially not in more formal settings where they also shine, but in a bad way.
For the price I have to say that I feel impressed with the number of features and the durability that these pants have shown.